ATAYA POLITICS – At the Vou Buga Dara

By Baboucarr Mboge

A small attaya spot in the ghetto. Small stove smoking. Glass dirty. 3 small glasses. 4 jobless experts on politics, football and everything except looking for job.

CHARACTERS:

BOY – The Ataya Master

PA MODU – The Old Man

SISTA FATOU – The Business Woman, tired

LAMIN & EBRIMA – Jobless Youths, Professors of Facebook Politics

HONOURABLE – The Politician

BOY: [shaking the ataya kettle] Eh! Boy! Where is the ataya? I done boil water since morning!

LAMIN: You always ask “where is the ataya” but you never contribute! You only contribute mouth!

EBRIMA: How can I contribute? I have no job, no money, no education and certainly no future! So all we have is ataya and the vou! Check my pocket – 0 Dalasi. Check my CV – 0 experience. Check my future – buffering… So don’t ask me for sugar, I am sweet enough already!laughter

PA MODU: This is all course by politicians and poor governance! We had future, they ate it! They ate the groundnut money, they ate the port money, Nawec money too, now they want to eat our hope!

BOY: But just wait, it’s soon elections and we will get our share! Small D2000 or maybe 2500 and 5kg rice – we are rich for one day!

LAMIN: Yes! 5 years of suffering, 1 day of jollof rice. Fair business!

[SISTA FATOU enters, carrying big basin, sees them sitting]

SISTA FATOU: Heh! I bought this ataya you useless men! Sitting here all day talking about politics and football! Since morning you sit on this vou buga dara, wakh sa halal halal like you are philosophers! Give us a break and get a job! You complain too much but your backside is glued to this bench!

EBRIMA: What else to do, Sista Fatou? Either that or steal your fake hair and sell it at Serekunda market!

[Everyone explodes – BOY chokes on ataya]

SISTA FATOU: [eyes big] Idiot! You small rat! It’s better you go back way! I will slap that your dirty cap!

EBRIMA: Sorry, sorry, your hair is real; it’s just the Brazilian that is fake!

[Two more guys, CHEE & KAWSU come in, hands in pockets]

CHEE: Nakam guys, were is the ataya?

PA MODU & SISTA FATOU: Lift up your pants, broke jobless youths! Your pocket is making noise with empty coins![laughing]

EVERYONE: Hahahaha!

BOY: [whispering, eyes sharp] Shhhh! Shhh! Here comes the politician! Let’s tax him! Everybody act serious, like we are voters with sense!

[HONOURABLE enters, big kaftan, clean shoes, stomach full, two boys following him with flyers]

HONOURABLE: My people! My youth! My mothers! How are you!

PA MODU: Wow, Honourable, you look good! Fresh! Which kind of politician are you sah? We have categories here!

SISTA FATOU: Yes, tell us:

1. The Self-Serving – does everything for himself

2. The Servant – does everything for the people

3. The Political Nomad – today APC, tomorrow UDP, next week NPP, like a Fulani cow

4. Mr My Pocket First – before people, his pocket must eat

5. Mr Knowledge and Honest but No Money – good man, but broke, cannot even buy ataya

6. Mr Generous Thief – steals big, but shares small, buys you Ataya, coffee, Touba, or ebeh

Which one are you?

HONORABLE: [smiling, showing white teeth] Hmm, interesting. Which one would you vote for?

BOY: Me? Generous thief! At least I see something!

CHEE: Political Nomad! He always finds the winning team!

PA MODU: My Pocket First! At least he is honest about his dishonesty!

LAMIN: Knowledge and honesty!…but make him add small loot, otherwise we die of honesty!

SISTA FATOU: I want Servant! But I have never seen that one! Is he extinct?

EBRIMA: We need the liar who steals but is generous! That one understands us! He lies, we know he lies; he steals, we know he steals; but he brings attaya sugar! Honest relationship!

HONORABLE: [laughs loudly, sits on the vou] Perfect! Then I am that one! I am your Generous Thief! Your Liar! Your Nomad! Your Pocket First! I am everything you need!

[Silence. He pours himself the first ataya; the foam is perfect]

SISTA FATOU: You see? He even took our first ataya! True politician!

HONOURABLE: Youths, don’t worry. Vote for me; after I win, I will remember you.[drinks]

EBRIMA: [the conscious youth, suddenly standing up, angry and laughing at the same time] Ah! Now I know! Now I know why we elect thieves, liars and greedy people, and yet we expect them to be angels!

We sit here, we KNOW who is thief, we even LISTED them, we KNOW he will steal, we even CHOOSE the thief because he shares small ataya, and tomorrow when he steals our future, we will sit on this same vou, drink this same bitter ataya, and shout “Corruption! Corruption!”

We are not victims! We are volunteers! We interview the thief, we employ the thief, and then we complain that our bag is stolen!

The problem is not in the National Assembly – the problem is on this vou! Ah let me go home to pray preparing for my heaven tomorrow for in this Gambia, hell is the name of the game.

[Long silence. Kettle whistles]

PA MODU:…this boy… this boy said true words.[slowly]

BOY: So… Honourable… will you still give us D2000?

EVERYONE: BOYYYY!!!

BOY : boy what, its our money deh. He stole, we tax

HONOURABLE: boy here is 5000, support the thief. More is coming

. Guards, let’s go and leave these hopeless idiots. I CAMBIE.

Walo Walo thinking out loud.

The post ATAYA POLITICS – At the Vou Buga Dara appeared first on Daily Observer Gambia .