Why Can’t Black Women Just Love Their Girlfriends Without Being Called Lesbians? [Op-Ed]

For as long as many of us can remember, people have been fascinated by the friendships Black women share with one another. Some of that fascination may be rooted in admiration. Some of it may even be envy. But a great deal of it comes from people struggling to understand the depth of our relationships. And we all know what tends to happen when people do not understand something: they create a false narrative and then act like it is the truth.

When two Black women are deeply connected, when they travel together, talk every day, finish each other’s sentences, know and love each other’s children, share holidays, show up during heartbreaks, and celebrate one another’s victories, someone inevitably asks the question, “Are they together?” Or make the statement, “Something ELSE is going on with them!”

This tired and ignorant assumption has followed women like Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King for decades. Never mind that both women have repeatedly explained that their relationship is rooted in love, loyalty, trust, and sisterhood. People continue searching for an explanation they can make sense of because two women cannot simply love each other deeply without somebody trying to make it sexual.

Instead of minding the business that pays them, folks pick apart every detail of their lives and insist there must be something more there. Because to them, they cannot just be friends. They must be lovers.

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