Love Or Leech? — 6 Signs He’s Just Using You

Love should make you feel seen, supported, and appreciated, not like you’re carrying the entire relationship on your shoulders. But sometimes, the signs that a partner is taking advantage of you can be subtle, especially in the beginning. So how can you tell the difference between someone who genuinely loves you and someone who simply loves what you do for them? Are there clear signs that your partner might be using you?

During an interview with Vice published on July 24, Dr. Alexandra Foglia, DMFT, Director of Family Programs at the addiction treatment center franchise All In Solutions, explained that the warning signs usually don’t come from one major incident. Instead, they show up as repeated patterns over time.

“When someone feels that they’re being ‘used’ in a relationship, it’s usually not because there was some single, defining moment or behavior exhibited by their partner,” Foglia shared. “It’s generally due to a repeated pattern where the relationship is predominantly beneficial to one partner while the other partner carries most of the load when it comes to being supportive on an emotional, financial, and/or practical level.”

It’s possible for someone to appreciate your kindness, emotional support, or financial help without truly investing in you as a partner. If you’ve been wondering whether your relationship feels one-sided, here are six signs to pay attention to.

1. There’s No Reciprocity

Healthy relationships involve give and take. While no partnership is perfectly balanced every single day, both people should consistently show up for one another over time.

If your partner is always available when they need something, but suddenly disappears when it’s your turn to lean on them, that imbalance could be a red flag.

“A relatively subtle clue is if your partner tends to be very actively engaged when they need something from you, whether it’s a favor, emotional support, money, etc., but when your needs come up, they suddenly become distant and/or unavailable emotionally,” says Foglia. “Generally speaking, healthy relationships have a sense of reciprocity built into them. People’s needs may vary, and this doesn’t necessarily mean that everything will be perfectly equal each day, but support should be more or less evenly split over time.”

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