How Third Grader Khoda Carter is Helping Raise Awareness About Alopecia

By Solomon Crenshaw Jr. | For the Birmingham Times

Third grader Khoda Carter will participate in her fifth Alopecia Awareness Walk on Saturday, Sept. 19 but she didn’t wait until then to spread the word.

Khoda, who was diagnosed with alopecia areata at 1 year old, recently revealed to classmates at Hoover’s Trace Crossings Elementary School that she has the condition.

And it was her idea.

“She asked me, could she talk to her class about what alopecia was?” her mother Robyn Carter said. “She wants to start wearing head wraps and (showing) her bald head. I reached out to her teacher and her teacher said it’s fine. She wrote her own speech to say to her class to just let them know that she has alopecia and explain what alopecia is and just let them know so they’re not shocked when she does come to school and she doesn’t have hair.”

The reveal was delayed a few days as the third grader began enrichment classes at school. But she ultimately told her classmates.

“It took a little longer, but she finally was able to tell them, and they were receptive,” the mother said. “They didn’t look at her any different. They were thankful that she shared that with them. Actually, on her birthday (Sept. 13), she went out with her aunt to go celebrate and she did not wear a wig or a head wrap or anything.

“But the kids, they didn’t seem shocked or anything,” Carter continued. “They just thanked Khoda for telling them. They all were like, ‘I love you, Khoda. You’re still Khoda to me.’ Of course, that made her feel good because, of course, she didn’t want to seem different. But it all seemed to go well. She was super excited.”

The speech Khoda prepared let Carter know her daughter was growing up.

“Just the excitement in her eyes when she asked me, ‘Hey, can I tell them about what’s going on? It’s kind of hot outside. I don’t want to always wear my wigs, but I don’t want the kids to think that there’s anything wrong with me,’” the mother said, quoting her daughter. “I definitely felt confident because, of course, in the past, we had issues with other students at the different schools she’s attended.”

Before her reveal, Khoda would wear a wig to school. As soon as she’d get in the car, she’d ask her mother: “Can I take it off?”

Carter said she’s proud of her daughter’s growth and maturity. Although her daughter is only 9, the mother said her daughter has been very courageous.

“In our family, she’s the only one that doesn’t have hair,” the mom said. “She has an older sister and a younger sister that both have hair. Her brother has hair. She still has those moments where she cries and she wants hair growing from her head and she yearns for that.”

Robyn recounted situations at a prior school.

“In her previous school, she had situations and she would come home crying. Or I’m knowing something’s not right, and I would have to ask her, ‘What’s going on?’” the mother recalled. “She would tell me this person said this or this person said that. But it (her decision to tell her classmates) definitely made me feel proud because it just shows me that she’s learning to adapt and cope and live with having alopecia.”

The condition was an adjustment for the family.

“As a parent and as her mom and a female, I was devastated when we found out,” Carter said. “Khoda had just turned 1 on September 13th, and I noticed a little of her hair was coming out. I thought it was just like traction, maybe pulling it too tight. I noticed it continued to come out, and it came out … in globs. I started to try to do her hair differently and realized that it was something bigger than just tension from pulling her hair.”

The family made an appointment on October 31 of 2018, and Khoda was officially diagnosed with alopecia areata.

“She still had strings of hair. But by January of 2019, she was completely bald,” Carter recalled.

“At that time, she still was not aware of what’s really going on. She’s more aware now. Of course, she knows that, ‘I had hair on top of my head, but I don’t anymore,” Carter said. “It didn’t really bother her then. She was more open to wearing her bald crown and just throwing a headband on. Even now, she looks back at pictures and she’s kind of like a little shocked because she doesn’t really remember when she was 1 year old and she had hair. She’s lived more of her life without hair than she did with hair.”

Follow Khoda Carter’s journey on her Facebook page, Khoda’s Journey. Khoda’s Way.